Hero worship in its unkindest form!
- On Betelgeuse they worship me
- as savior of their race.
- The Puppeteer cheer loud hurrahs
- where'er I show my face.
- I cannot count the times I signed
- a Kzinti's Book of Dawn.
- But my butt is just a Big Mac
- on the planet Alderaan.
- My fame has stood the test of time
- in our history books.
- The statues of my frame adorn
- a million honored nooks.
- Aristocrats of every stripe
- come up to primp and fawn.
- But my butt is just a Big Mac
- on the planet Alderaan.
- On Alderaan they say that once
- I visited their world.
- I wowed them and I dazzled
- every boy and little girl.
- I left a bit of DNA
- to clone me when I'm gone.
- Now my butt is just a Big Mac
- on the planet Alderaan.
- I'm going back to Alderaan
- to tell them that I mind.
- You don't have to be a Vegan
- to respect the human kind.
- I know the trick: I'll show them what
- I use to sit upon.
- Then my butt won't be a Big Mac
- on the planet Alderaan!
Filking is an artform peculiar to the science fiction fan community. Years ago, when I read Larry Niven's short story Assimilating our Culture, That's what they're doing, I was moved to write my first filksong.
And, sure, I know that Betelgeuse is a red giant star that's unlikely to have a worshipful civilization living on it, and I just made up the Kzinti Book of Dawn, because I couldn't think of a better rhyme. Maybe Larry Niven will write a story to explain what that is.
